New to Upstate Greenville SAA?
Welcome Newcomer
Congratulations on taking a step toward recovery! Be assured you are not alone; we are all here to support one another on this journey. At meetings you may speak out about your feelings, thoughts, behaviors and doubts with no fear of rejection or judgment. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have; answers may not be given immediately due to a tradition of not engaging in dialog or “crosstalk”. We have all been new and understand there is a lot to learn. This "Newcomer" page is intended to help you begin recovery with suggestions and ideas that other members have found helpful and will also help you understand the terms and concepts you will hear discussed in meetings. We hope you will find this a safe and comfortable place to seek recovery, sanity, and serenity.
Helpful Reading
You can read about sex addiction and recovery in the "Literature" section of the main SAA website found here: https://saa-recovery.org/literature/
The following books are also extremely useful resources:● Sex Addicts Anonymous®(SAA “Green Book”)● Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction● Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes● Voices of Recovery: Daily readings for sex addiction recovery● Alcoholics Anonymous (AA “Big Book")● Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (AA “Twelve and Twelve”)
The SAA Green Book can be ordered through the SAA website (saa-recovery.org) or purchased from thegroup treasurer after the meeting. The other books are available in most major bookstores, either new or used and Amazon.
The following books are also extremely useful resources:● Sex Addicts Anonymous®(SAA “Green Book”)● Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction● Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes● Voices of Recovery: Daily readings for sex addiction recovery● Alcoholics Anonymous (AA “Big Book")● Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (AA “Twelve and Twelve”)
The SAA Green Book can be ordered through the SAA website (saa-recovery.org) or purchased from thegroup treasurer after the meeting. The other books are available in most major bookstores, either new or used and Amazon.
Finding a Sponsor
We also suggest you seek a sponsor to help you develop a program of recovery. A sponsor is a person who has been in SAA longer than you who can answer questions, offer encouragement, and give suggestions on how to “work” the 12 steps. We encourage you to listen to others as they speak at meetings, then approach someone whom you connected with or whose ideas you find helpful. If in doubt, you can discuss your needs with the meeting chair after the meeting.
A Special Message for Women
There is help for women who have a sex addiction. We suggest coming to at least six local meetings or telemeetings within a short period of time before deciding whether SAA is right for you. Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself time to listen to others’ stories and absorb the introductory literature. If you are like us, you did not get to where you are now overnight. It will also take time to become oriented to this program and a new way of thinking and living in recovery. The Women’s Outreach Committee (WOC) has written a WOC welcome letter. It may also be useful.
The Upstate Area fellowship of Sex Addicts Anonymous® has made it a priority to ensure that women who are interested in our fellowship feel welcome and safe in our meetings. Many women have found serenity and freedom in the rooms of SAA. Please join us.
Local Resources for Women
If you would like to speak to a woman sex addict in the Upstate Area about our program, call 864-400-2784 or email info@upstatescsaa.org and leave a message stating that you would like to talk with a woman about your situation. A woman from our fellowship will get back to you.
Other Resources for Women
If you wish to tap into the international network of women via e-mail, visit saa-recovery.org/ForWomen.
© Sex Addicts Anonymous from ISO of SAA website
Terms to Know!
AA: Alcoholics Anonymous. This is the original 12-step program, and it exists to help alcoholics achieve recovery. Their program became the model for all subsequent 12-step recovery programs.Abstinence, Defining: SAA members define for themselves, with the help of their sponsors or others in recovery, which behaviors they consider to be “acting out.” (SAA GB pg 15)
Accountability Partner: Someone in the program (could be a sponsor) that supports our commitment to sobriety and working the StepsActing Out: engaging in sexual behavior that we have defined and put in our inner circle. (SAA GB pg 17)
Acting In: Sexual anorexicBetrayal Trauma: is defined as a trauma perpetrated by someone with whom the victim is close to and reliant upon for support and or survival
Beverage Program, The: A term used sometimes to refer to Alcoholics AnonymousBig Book, The: nickname for the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” written by Bill W. 1939 Also known as the Blue Book.Bookending: A program tool, calling or texting someone in the program before and after a potentially risky/triggering situation.
Boundaries: Are the limits we put on our behaviors. We may also set and maintain with others in our lives. (SAA GB pg 64)
Burning Desire: Often a specific share in the meeting dedicated to someone who is at risk of “acting out” causing harm to them or others.vc
Circles: Program tool, We write down our recovery program using the three circles as a way to gain clarity. Without this clarity we can continue to “act out” because we are confused at what sobriety is for us. (SAA lit Three Circles Defining Sobriety)
D-Day- “Discovery Day”. The day you were discovered by a partner, family or friend in lying about sexual behaviors.
Euphoric Recall: remembering past experiences of acting out in a positive light while overlooking the negative experiences.
Fellowship: A community of recovering sex addicts who share a common goal of freedom from sex addiction where we have somewhere to turn to help us recover. (SAA GB pg 10) “Meeting fellowship” refers to the time after the meeting is over that “fellows” stay to socialize and ask questions.
First Step Presentation: A written history of our sex addiction from past to present. This helps to show the powerlessness and unmanageability our lives had become. Sharing a First Step in a group creates an opportunity to connect with other members. (SAA GB pg 23-25)
Getting Current/Checking In: terms often used in shares, referring to someone sharing something, or things, that they want to ‘get off their chest, ‘confess,’ or make known, to a group, or individuals, of their choosing, in their recovery.
Green Book: nickname for the book “Sex Addicts Anonymous”
Group Conscience: It is the will of our higher power expressed through the group. The wisdom derived from the group not from any signal individual. (SAA GB pg 79,80)
Higher Power: abbreviation HP- A spiritual Power that transcends our human willpower and thinking, and that this Power can return us to a condition of serenity and sanity. (SAA GB pg 27)
ISA: Intimacy Avoidance
Inner Circle: Sexual behaviors we want to abstain from, ones we considered “acting out” (addictive, harmful or unacceptable for us) (SAA GB pg 16)
MAPs: Minor-Attracted Person, refers to individuals with sexual attraction to individuals who are below the legal age of consent.
Middle Circle: slippery behaviors are things we do that make us vulnerable to acting out (SAA green book pg 18)
Outer Circle: behaviors that we consider healthy, safe and beneficial to our recovery (SAA green book pg 19)
Process Addiction: refers to behavioral problems that involve a lessening of control, persistent seeking, and significant harm even though no addictive substance is involved
Recovery: the process of returning to an optimal state of personal, social & emotional well-being.
Relapse: Engaging in something that we have defined in our personal program as addictive sexual behavior or “acting out” (SAA GB pg 67)
SAA: Sex Addicts Anonymous “supports our recovery”(SAA GB pg20)
Sharing: speaking at a meeting about the topic at hand or getting current.
Sobriety: the condition of being abstinent from sexual behaviors defined by our inner circle.
Sobriety Date: Date that marks the last time we acted out with our Inner Circle behaviors. The terms Birthday or Anniversary, mark milestones in time from our sobriety adate. Not to be confused with our Belly-button Birthday (the day of our physical birth).
Sponsee: One who is sponsored
Sponsor: Is a person in the fellowship who acts as a guide to working the program of SAA a fellow addict that we can rely upon for support.(SAA GB pg 13). A temporary sponsor can help as a guide for a short-term basis.
Steps, The (1-12): The actual work of recovery is described in the 12 steps (SAA Green Book pg 20)
Trauma: Going through a very stressful, frightening or distressing event.
Triggered, Getting: Is any situation or behavior that causes us to feel a powerful desire to act out (SAA GB pg 68)
Withdrawal: A period of intense emotional upheaval and physical discomfort when we stop our addictive sexual behaviors. (SAA GB pg 66)
Working the Steps: Leads to a spiritual transformation that results in sustainable relief from our addiction (SAA GB pg 20)
90 and 90: a program tool, going to 90 meetings in 90 days
Accountability Partner: Someone in the program (could be a sponsor) that supports our commitment to sobriety and working the StepsActing Out: engaging in sexual behavior that we have defined and put in our inner circle. (SAA GB pg 17)
Acting In: Sexual anorexicBetrayal Trauma: is defined as a trauma perpetrated by someone with whom the victim is close to and reliant upon for support and or survival
Beverage Program, The: A term used sometimes to refer to Alcoholics AnonymousBig Book, The: nickname for the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” written by Bill W. 1939 Also known as the Blue Book.Bookending: A program tool, calling or texting someone in the program before and after a potentially risky/triggering situation.
Boundaries: Are the limits we put on our behaviors. We may also set and maintain with others in our lives. (SAA GB pg 64)
Burning Desire: Often a specific share in the meeting dedicated to someone who is at risk of “acting out” causing harm to them or others.vc
Circles: Program tool, We write down our recovery program using the three circles as a way to gain clarity. Without this clarity we can continue to “act out” because we are confused at what sobriety is for us. (SAA lit Three Circles Defining Sobriety)
D-Day- “Discovery Day”. The day you were discovered by a partner, family or friend in lying about sexual behaviors.
Euphoric Recall: remembering past experiences of acting out in a positive light while overlooking the negative experiences.
Fellowship: A community of recovering sex addicts who share a common goal of freedom from sex addiction where we have somewhere to turn to help us recover. (SAA GB pg 10) “Meeting fellowship” refers to the time after the meeting is over that “fellows” stay to socialize and ask questions.
First Step Presentation: A written history of our sex addiction from past to present. This helps to show the powerlessness and unmanageability our lives had become. Sharing a First Step in a group creates an opportunity to connect with other members. (SAA GB pg 23-25)
Getting Current/Checking In: terms often used in shares, referring to someone sharing something, or things, that they want to ‘get off their chest, ‘confess,’ or make known, to a group, or individuals, of their choosing, in their recovery.
Green Book: nickname for the book “Sex Addicts Anonymous”
Group Conscience: It is the will of our higher power expressed through the group. The wisdom derived from the group not from any signal individual. (SAA GB pg 79,80)
Higher Power: abbreviation HP- A spiritual Power that transcends our human willpower and thinking, and that this Power can return us to a condition of serenity and sanity. (SAA GB pg 27)
ISA: Intimacy Avoidance
Inner Circle: Sexual behaviors we want to abstain from, ones we considered “acting out” (addictive, harmful or unacceptable for us) (SAA GB pg 16)
MAPs: Minor-Attracted Person, refers to individuals with sexual attraction to individuals who are below the legal age of consent.
Middle Circle: slippery behaviors are things we do that make us vulnerable to acting out (SAA green book pg 18)
Outer Circle: behaviors that we consider healthy, safe and beneficial to our recovery (SAA green book pg 19)
Process Addiction: refers to behavioral problems that involve a lessening of control, persistent seeking, and significant harm even though no addictive substance is involved
Recovery: the process of returning to an optimal state of personal, social & emotional well-being.
Relapse: Engaging in something that we have defined in our personal program as addictive sexual behavior or “acting out” (SAA GB pg 67)
SAA: Sex Addicts Anonymous “supports our recovery”(SAA GB pg20)
Sharing: speaking at a meeting about the topic at hand or getting current.
Sobriety: the condition of being abstinent from sexual behaviors defined by our inner circle.
Sobriety Date: Date that marks the last time we acted out with our Inner Circle behaviors. The terms Birthday or Anniversary, mark milestones in time from our sobriety adate. Not to be confused with our Belly-button Birthday (the day of our physical birth).
Sponsee: One who is sponsored
Sponsor: Is a person in the fellowship who acts as a guide to working the program of SAA a fellow addict that we can rely upon for support.(SAA GB pg 13). A temporary sponsor can help as a guide for a short-term basis.
Steps, The (1-12): The actual work of recovery is described in the 12 steps (SAA Green Book pg 20)
Trauma: Going through a very stressful, frightening or distressing event.
Triggered, Getting: Is any situation or behavior that causes us to feel a powerful desire to act out (SAA GB pg 68)
Withdrawal: A period of intense emotional upheaval and physical discomfort when we stop our addictive sexual behaviors. (SAA GB pg 66)
Working the Steps: Leads to a spiritual transformation that results in sustainable relief from our addiction (SAA GB pg 20)
90 and 90: a program tool, going to 90 meetings in 90 days
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